How can I make a man feel that I love him without injuring my pride? How can I know whether he loves me or not? (Consider that the relationship has not yet started).
Two difficult questions to answer, considering how general they are but they open up an interesting topic: how to behave and what to expect during the courting stage of a relationship.
First things first: “How can I make a man feel that I love him without injuring my pride?” The usual stereotype of the courting phase is that the man does the work, while the woman sits back and waits for him to prove himself to her. But we all know that things are never that clear cut.
While our society stresses the role of the male in the courting phase, it is very important to understand that the female still has an essential role to play, some might even say the more important one. This is especially true with males who have not much experience with relationships or who are shy by nature. But with all males, as long as there is a certain level of initial attraction to you on his part, showing a man that you are attracted to him actually increases his attraction to you. You feed his ego and that gives him a good feeling.
Of course you need to establish that there is initial attraction but that is usually an easy thing to do. The signs to look for are many and depending on the man may range from enthusiasm when he sees you to awkwardness when he talks to you, while out of the ordinary phone calls are a dead giveaway. Once you are sure that he is attracted, you should show him that you are attracted too. Again there are many ways to do this without compromising yourself: an unexpected phone call (short one), something you found out that you wanted to share with him in particular, a little extra attention to him in a group, that sort of thing. Try to be confident and clear with your unspoken message, but remember not to overdo it, feed his ego but do not OVER-feed it. Too much attention at an early stage can ruin the atmosphere, make him take you for granted and lessen his attraction to you.
It is important to work patiently and give him about as much attention as he gives you. If you have been clear in your unspoken messages but feel he is not returning your attention then he is probably not interested. Otherwise you will find the courting phase has gained momentum by itself and eventually you should find yourself in a relationship.
The second question “How can I know whether he loves me or not?” has an easier answer although you might not like it. The answer is you can’t, at least, not yet. Attraction is one thing, love is another. True love can only be tested over time and after you have become intimate with your companion. How much he is willing to compromise for you, within reasonable limits, is the key to knowing that.
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