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    Shyness, The Conversation Killer

    Shyness can be one of the most debilitating character traits. I’m not talking about the kind of shyness where if someone compliments you , you blush… I’m talking about severe shyness, the kind where you simply can’t approach people, you can’t talk to people, you can’t make requests and sometimes you’re too scared to even make a phone call. It is self-doubt that leads us to being shy. It is very much related to how we perceive ourselves, how others perceive us and the importance we attach to how others perceive us. It is not our personality, as some psychologists would have you believe. Self-doubt is a negative characteristic that…

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    Where do Stepmothers Fit In on Mother’s Day?

    When Mother’s Day approaches, we tend to remember all the wonderful things about our mothers. And so we should, mothers deserve it, after all, they’ve been there for us, they’ve taught us all we know, they’ve shared good and bad moments with us… but sometimes, it’s not the mother who has done all that. Sometimes it’s the stepmother. Being a stepmother is an uphill battle. In fairy tales, literature and television, stepmothers are portrayed as cruel, selfish, unfair and usually insane. I mean when someone says stepmother, who doesn’t think of Cinderella’s evil stepmother or Snow White’s even more evil stepmother? But life is rarely as black and white as…

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    The Truth about Cats and Dogs

    I don’t understand men. When I say I don’t understand, I do not mean that I can’t identify with their behaviour, I do not mean that I do not comprehend their logic, I also do not mean that I disagree with their principles. What I am trying to say is that when they talk, I don’t actually understand a word they’re saying. Why is this? We are both human beings after all, and we both communicate through vowels and consonants, so why don’t I understand a word they say? This question has lead me to think, and think hard I did. I thought about all the possible reasons for this…

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    Why Women Don’t Always Leave Abusive Relationships

    Sometimes it feels like men have been given some natural license to treat women like subordinates or inferiors, and women have been fighting for decades to change this perception. This is why seeing women being abused by their partners is especially difficult to accept. Battered Wife Syndrome is the name given to the psychological and behavioural symptoms derived from this type of abusive relationship. It is my bias that it is no one’s right to hit anyone, children included because it demeans the individual. A woman who suffers this kind of abuse believes that the violence is her fault and actually has an inability to place the blame elsewhere, mainly…

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    Childfree by Choice

    There’s a certain stigma associated with being female and being childfree. Because being childfree-by-choice is rather frowned upon in our child-centric society, most women who don’t want children, rarely say so openly. They try to avoid the disapproving stares and cries of, “How can you not want children?!” and go into hiding. In fact a woman who doesn’t want children is often labelled a selfish woman. It’s more difficult for a woman to admit that she does not want children as men are often exempt from such pressure. Women on the other hand must answer to other women, to mothers, to aunts, to neighbours and even to friends. When my…

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    Internet Love Interests

    I love the Internet. The amount of things you can do on it is unbelievable! I mean you can have access to news, keep in touch with friends, find information on just about anything, do research, participate in discussions and even chat online. The “information highway” makes possible unprecedented forms of communications. Never before have there been means of communication which have provided so many individuals with the ease and ability to engage in instantaneous, interactive communications with such a broad and diverse public.Previously unimaginable, millions of individuals are increasingly interacting across time and space, and forming mutual bonds with others, most of whom they neither have met nor will…

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    Why are most men romantically challenged?

    Why are most men romantically challenged? This question has gone round and round in my head over the years and I still can’t find the answer. Is it linked to the difference in our genes? Are we really from Venus and are they really from Mars? And if so, why is romance so scarce on Mars? For most women, romance is like air; we need it to breathe. I know that not all women have the same definition of romance. This issue of individual personalities brings up the Golden Rule of Romance: Know thy woman! Men can forget about any packaged plan or list of “romantic things to do”. Some…

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    Buying Gifts

    I hate buying gifts, I really do. That is not because I am stingy or uncaring but I hate the fact that your whole relationship with someone can be determined by what you buy for them on a specific occasion, or what they mean to you is reflected in the gift. Someone said “Gift giving is an opportunity to express our feelings for someone we care for.” Yes… sure… but if I’ve had a busy week that does not mean I care about that person any less. Just about anything can be a gift, but shopping for gifts is very different from shopping for yourself. Have you ever had the…

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    Guests

    I’ve just sat down after 4 hours of stress and tension, but with a feeling of deep satisfaction. No, it wasn’t a deadline completed at the last minute or annihilating my partner in an argument or anything like that. It was, believe it or not… guests. Guests? What could possibly be wrong with having friends or family over for some tea and biscuits and a nice chit-chat, you may wonder? Well, when I got married a few months ago I had no idea that, as a newly wed couple, our life would consequently be taken over by people who want to come over to congratulate us. Now the stressing was…

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    Open Minded… Or Mindless?

    The expression open-minded seems to confuse many people. While I argue for open-mindedness with certain people, they speak back to me in a rather dismayed tone and only when I dig deeper into their understanding of the word, do I start to see what they mean. Open mindedness is so often confused with the word decadence. If a girl is “open minded”, in the narrow minded sense, it means she is a heavy drinker and smoker, she dresses a little too immodestly and has too many male friends! Open mindedness is about opening your mind; it’s as simple as that. Heard the expression “don’t judge a book by its cover”?…