• Mr Hanem

    The Bald and the Beautiful

    t creeps up on you ever so quietly. The actual process began many years earlier but realization hits you as if it were something that just fell out of the sky. You’re standing in front of the bathroom mirror humming away, having just finished shaving, innocently practicing your Gillette facial poses as you check for that little patch you inevitably missed… and then it happens! Staring you in the mirror is a thin strip of skin crawling subtly across your forehead. Skin, let me add, where there should be hair. You look closer and the first image of the true shape of your head – hidden for years by your…

  • Mr Hanem

    I Need a Hero?

    After many misadventures in the realm of the heart, I have decided to stop and ponder some of the many questions that life throws at me. For the purpose of this article I have decided to concentrate on what I and my fellow man should strive be like in the present day and age. Now I have to admit that I don’t really remember the seventies because I was a bit too young to appreciate them properly but, nevertheless, I remember the eighties vividly, and I’m sure we all know what was happening in the nineties. I think that the problem for most men today is how those two decades…

  • Mr Hanem

    Breaking Up Is Hard To Do – Part 2

    After countless comments about the last article (well actually there were only about a dozen or so), I’ve decided to do a follow up, explaining a few things I said before, and adding from my vast knowledge of failed relationships. The major criticism of my last article seems to be that I’ve thrown the theory of one true love out the window with my summation of “…there are other t-shirts to wear.” Before I explain this comment, let me give a little more background about my last relationship. Simply put, I was (and still am) in love with the most amazing woman on earth. So in love in fact that…

  • Mr Hanem

    Men choose their girlfriends and their wives. Right?

    Men choose their girlfriends and their wives. Ok so the ladies have to agree as well, but at the root of any relationship lies a man’s initial choice. Right…? Wrong. Here’s why… Phylloscopus Trochilus is a very small bird which stands only a few centimetres high and is commonly known as the Willow Warbler. This lucky creature spends a leisurely life enjoying cool summers in Northern Europe and warm winters in Africa. Willow Warblers begin to arrive back in Europe for the Spring breeding season, having passed a nice long winter vacation in sunny Senegal or some such exotic place. First to arrive ‘home’ are the males followed, a few days later, by…

  • Mr Hanem

    What is it with women and shoes?

    To us men, one of the many mysteries of Woman is this irritating obsession with footwear that you all share. And I don’t just mean the sheer number of shoes you seem to possess, but also the variety! Different shapes, different heights, different cuts, different colours… what’s going on? To most of us men, shoes are simply a protective clothing for the feet to get us from point A to point B, safe from splinters and bruising, and hopefully also from blisters. And as for colours, rarely would any of us be seen dead in anything but plain brown or black. (Elvis, your days are over). Shoes for the modern…